Summary: Procrastination is usually about fear, so “pull yourself together” self-talk has no effect. Here’s a practical exercise to convert procrastination into can’t-stop-myself enthusiasm.
If there’s one thing that’ll kill a small business, it’s faffing about. I groan to my ankles, though, when I read articles which say “you should do this, and this, and that to sort yourself out.” Trite as hell: we all know what we should be doing, and if we could only make ourselves do it, we’d be doing it already, thank you.
Sometimes the fear is big enough that we won’t even risk examining it, in case we walk smack into The Danger by mistake. Ah, the joys of being so evolved.
I’m trying a different approach, then: one which sneaks around the back door while you’re having a cup of tea and a nice chat in the sitting room, and does all the washing up for you.
The challenge for you here is to try to stay on the (metaphorical) sofa as long as possible while doing this exercise. Once you learn the ropes, it can become an automatic, routine mental check.
The Exercise
Looking at the case studies (Steve’s Contract, The Writer) after you’ve read this will help you to see how it pans out in practice.
1. Promise yourself that you absolutely WILL NOT make yourself do anything at the end of this exercise. We need your Inner Toddler (No! Won’t!) to be a willing participant, so you’re…just playing…with ideas.
2. Find yourself a pad and pencil, which will allow you to be both coach and client. It really does make a difference: it stops your mind wandering.
3. Write down what objective this task supports. Give yourself a brief mental picture of the outcome (e.g. efficient office, freedom from tax-man, new business opportunities, well-defined goal & strategy).
4. Write down this question on the pad: “What does not-doing [the task] protect me from?”
5. Notice any rumblings of resistance, physical feelings or sudden deep breaths as you consider the question – they’ll help you to locate the answers. For more ideas, take a look at the list in A Few Dozen Reasons To Procrastinate.
6. Write down all the answers without self-censorship. A lot of the answers may be very sensible, but if you’re finding any of them embarrassing, have compassion for your Inner Toddler… Besides, no-one else’s answers are going to be any more mature.
7. Then ask yourself: “What would make it safe to do [the task], even though there is [the issue]?” and write down the answer. Try to stay on-target: if you suddenly realise the answer is to redecorate the office, make a note of that need, but still answer the safety question.
8. Keep asking the ‘safe’ questions to cover all aspects of the situation, all issues (particularly in terms of it not going perfectly well), until you feel you have reached, and made safe, the nub of the problem. The fears and practicalities have been honoured and catered for. You feel relaxed, with no rumblings of resistance.
9. Now discuss with yourself (still writing it all down) what would make it fantastic to do [the task]: really remember the benefits of finishing the task and achieving the objective. See that mental picture again, get right into it, with full feelings attached. This is why it’s worth doing, why it was on your list.
10. I was going to say here “Go to it”, but in fact you’ll probably find you’ve started without even trying!
If you get stuck with this, it may help to get a friend to play ‘coach’. If it really starts to look like a complicated issue, then that’s where the professionals come in – they’re skilled in asking the right questions.
Penelope Else
Related posts:
A few dozen reasons to procrastinate
Procrastination case study: The Writer
Procrastination case study: Steve’s Contract
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